The Table

Our table was passed down to us from my brother Mike. It was made by hand and with great care by the Amish. It holds love. It has seen two families grow and has taken a beating to prove it. It is covered with cloth to hide the scars and marks of wear and tear; colors and textures of love. It is a sacred place where we stop the rushing and we sit together. We turn our faces toward and we break bread. We hold hands and we give thanks. At our table we do life; the messy and the beautiful, the highs and the lows. We take time to be filled, seen, and known. Our table is a holy space. We are grateful! Kevin and I went to a marriage class at our church when we hit a rough patch. One week the teaching centered around the table. They taught about how the family table you grew around influences your current family table. They addressed the relational brokenness that each person brings into their marriage and to the table. In order to have a healthy table we each need to acknowledge and work through past pain and brokenness so that we can give and receive love in a healthy way. This is the journey… My childhood table didn’t really exist. It was there physically, but it did not represent the space of connection and intimacy that my soul longed for. Since my mom worked 3-11, she would prepare food and leave it on the stove. We each would come and go as we chose and there was much movement away from. When people would sit at the table, they were often doing other things than connecting. The TV was almost always on and for me it was a lonely place. My dad ate in the other room by choice. He watched the news and wanted to be left alone. He ate at a TV table and then played solitaire or space armada. I often wondered why in a home with so many people I felt so all alone most of the time. To my marriage I brought longing and desire for intimacy and connection in an almost desperate measure. Kevin’s table looked like my dad’s. It was a TV table where he would sit alone and eat a microwave TV dinner. He lived with his mom who was mostly absent. He cannot remember a single meal where he was invited to sit at the table and share a meal and some connection. To the marriage table Kevin brought a desire for a new beginning. A hope to create a new family tree. He brought an excitement of what could be different if two people turned toward one another with love. Gary Thomas wrote, “We receive, celebrate, and live in God’s love; we pass on that love to our children, and we teach them to love God and others. We are born to love, redeemed by love, carried by love, and called to love.” When we sit together around our table today, I cannot help but give thanks to our good God who has helped to restore our hearts and redeem our stories so that two lonely and broken kids were grown into a family of love and connection through God’s grace and the power of His spirit living and active in each of our hearts. We are a work in progress, and always have room to grow, but I celebrate how far we have come. My kids still mock and tease one another around the table. We get short and snappy with them too. We are constantly in need of grace and forgiveness, but we are fighting the good fight. We have declared together and before God that this family that he has blessed us with matters. We are determined to love and guide them and call them to the table. We are going to say no to the patterns of business and striving of the world as much as we are able so that we have more holy moments around our messy and beautiful table. We are grateful!