Begin Again

I love new beginnings… a new journal, flipping the page on the calendar to a new week, month, and year. Beginnings symbolize a clean slate and a chance to hit reset. To let go of past mistakes and failures and set your eyes on something on the horizon. New Year’s Day is the ultimate new beginning. The whole world pauses in anticipation, teetering in the in between space where change takes place. We gather, celebrate, and count down the minutes. We acknowledge the growth, and notice how far we have come. We count our blessings and bear witness to all of the challenges and obstacles we have hurdled. Together we stand firm in our resolve. We declare before God and man that this year will be different. We jump out of the gate like a stallion, strong and ready for whatever this year brings. We promise to be better, to do more, and to stay the course. Somewhere along the line we lose sight of our vision and become passive, we grow weary. We get a taste of failure and start to over identify with that.

For this reason, I don’t like to set goals. Every time I miss the mark, I fall into a pit of despair. I believe the lies and the voice of mockery takes me out at the knees. It happened earlier this month when the pressure and demands of the holidays caused me to miss a blog. My goal was weekly publication and after I missed one week I quickly threw in the towel. One week turned to one month and the message of self-harm and mockery swelled within me. So today, I stand on this first day of a new year and commit myself again to try and put one blog post out each week. I also commit to return to grace sooner. I just found a scrap of paper that I wrote on earlier this month. It says, the truth is life happens, and I am in need of grace, gentleness, and self-care. I will find faith in a process that is different than what I know. I am committed to grow!

New beginnings are about surrender. As we release our grip and soften, grace happens. The Spirit and power of God begin to flow freely into and through our lives. We start to live life that is truly life. Richard Miller is a psychologist, author, and yogic scholar. He invites us all to return to grace. He wrote “In every moment we begin again, we accept and surrender. As we deepen our understanding and let our truth unfold we pave the way for healing and transformation.” This is in alignment with the truth of scripture. It lines up with the promise that we can join God on the road to transformation, but it is a moment by moment process. We want to be transformed quickly and completely. We are an instant gratification culture. We prefer a cleaning crew to come into our house so that the whole thing is clean at the same time. If we do room by room, corner by corner, we never feel the joy of completion. This process is the reality that we are called to live into. In Romans 12:2 it says “Do not conform any longer to the patters of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

This year is the year of the Lord’s favor! It is an invitation to soften and surrender and return to the flow of grace. Every time you find yourself falling short of your goals and desires, please consider this invitation to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Begin again and again and again… all is grace!