Embracing the Darkness

Stepping out of the darkness and into the light has been my focus. Yesterday at yoga class, the teacher emphasized the importance of the darkness. If it weren't for the darkness you couldn't appreciate or even recognize the light. One of the most beautiful sunsets I have experienced appeared amidst the most dark and luminous storm clouds. It is the dark that accentuates the light.

Learning to accept and embrace my shadow or my dark side continues to be a process. It is so much easier to put on my smiley face, stuff the "junk" in the closet and pretend it doesn't exist. There is power when the two exist as one. When you can sit with the unpleasant as well as the pleasant you are freed from the shadow's disabling grip.

Look your shadow in the face and identify it. One of the aspects of the dark monkey who lives on my back is fear. Try as I do to shake it loose it has a stronghold on me. When I am weak it whispers... "you can't, you won't, don't bother trying." When I am strong it shouts and shakes its fist at me. Through the process of bending toward the light and embracing the darkness, fear is not as daunting as it once was. Now, when I feel the dread and self-doubt that tries to pin my down, I stop and acknowledge it. Oh hello, fear, it's you again. I accept it for what it is... an old way that no longer serves me. As long as I choose not to wrestle with it. It leaves me alone to continue on my spiritual path. Marian Williamson wrote, "The spiritual journey is the relinquishing or unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts."

When the darkness comes, it is my tendency to curl up in a ball and shield my heart and soul, protecting myself under a hard shell until the storm passes. After the recent loss of our Happy dog, I tried something new. I intentionally tried to stay open to the teaching of the loss. With arms wide open...I accepted the loss. Breathing in to the vast space of pain and suffering I opened my heart and received grace.

Grace has many faces. The face of a dear friend with sparkling blue eyes welling up with tears whispering I feel your pain, I am sorry for your loss...you are understood. "A thousand blessings" brownies baked and delivered with hugs. The faces of your children who grieve so openly and whole heartedly. The face of God found in a community of believers which picks you up and tells you you are not alone. The smiley face balloon...a reminder that Happy lives on. The tracks in the snow that remind you of the joyous life that was lived.

Life goes on and so must we. As we go on bending toward the light choose to embrace and appreciate the darkness.