To Be

To be fully present...this is a gift!

My dear friend and fellow writer, Meg, inspired this blog entry with the following quote:)
"Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open." Alexander Graham Bell

This week, because I was willing to stay present and take a huge risk, we welcomed a new member into our family. Toby is a nine week old yellow lab.

Since Happy died, there has been a gaping hole and the inevitable reality that we are a dog family and at some point we would need to get back on the horse and risk to love again. My vote was wait til spring (at least!) Kevin and Jeremy went on line immediately to find the next dog. Ian said he never wanted a dog again because it hurts too much to lose him. Ellie wanted a new dog for her birthday (summer). And Rachel wanted a cat...go figure!

One week after we broke the horrible news to the kids, we had a shelter dog, Trenton, in the living room with the potential of staying with us for foster care and possible adoption. This is something that Kevin arranged and came as a huge surprise to me. This 70 lb. lab/husky mix has been in a cage his whole life and in the course of a one hour visit he demonstrated the many facets of his personality, including: playful, timid, and wild. After he knocked Ellie face down into the snow for the second time, we all agreed that this might not be the best dog for our family.

Two weeks later, Kevin asked in the sweetest and most beautiful voice, "Can I have a puppy for my birthday?" He was lying in bed and unable to sleep due to a broken heart. "Of course!" was the only response. How do you say no to the man of the house?

His birthday is a month away, so I decided to do a preliminary search to see what was out there. He really wanted another lab, so I began looking for lab rescues and ended up on a web sight similar to craig's list. There was a post for 3 lab pups right here in Fox River Grove. I decided to go take a peek. The house was one block away & inside there were the most adorable black, chocolate and yellow labs I had ever seen. The yellow lab was definitely the pick of the litter. Although when I met him, he was too shy to say hello, I knew he was a gift from above. When Kevin came home from work, I said why don't you walk around the block & meet the pups. We brought the puppy home later that night.

Who would have thought you could love and welcome another into your heart while the wound of the loss is still so fresh and deep? As I stood staring at the closed door, remembering the good old days, Kevin reminded me that there is no perfect time to jump. You just have to leap and trust that the net will appear. We follow our hearts and trust that they will not fail us. As I dove face first into the next open door there was no doubt that this was the place to be.

His name is Toby. Ellie chose the name...after her first love in her Kindergarten class. We all agreed that this was the right name for our little angel. I wanted to call him Tejas...meaning light. But the more I reflect on his name, the more I realize its symbolism... Toby - to be. To be fully present. Isn't this the biggest lesson the dog brings? They are absolutely enveloped in each moment... ever leading the way to peace.

Dog is God spelled backward and this is no mistake. I believe this warmth and bliss called puppy is one of the many faces and reflections of the love of God. His love, pure and true, is reassurance that we must move on. We must run, dive, leap, crawl, and do whatever we have to do to catch that next open door before it is too late. Coulda shoulda woulda will get you nowhere! The time is now, the place is here, and you are the one that gets to be fully present to enjoy the miraculous moment. The love that spun you into existence is still right here with you every step of the way, every moment of the day. Why don't you tune in your senses, and open your heart to receive the abundance of the universe?