Love is...

"Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This definition of love, found in the Bible is read at many weddings including my own. When things are challenging between Kevin and I, I often refer back to this definition to assess where I may be falling short and how I may be able to love more completely. It is the ultimate challenge, but one worth fighting for. It is easy to pinpoint where your spouse or loved one is failing to meet your needs, but that doesn't usually help to change the problem. We can only change ourselves and when we love in this way and without conditions the problems melt away.

In yoga, we demonstrate love by observing the first two limbs of the practice which include the yamas (moral restraints), and niyamas (observances). These include: nonharming, honesty, nonstealing, moderation, nonhoarding, purity, contentment, zeal, self-awareness, and surrender. These provide a safe parameter in which to live and love in this world. In his book, Meditations from the Mat, Rolf Gates writes, "Love is being who we are born to be. Love is being who we are. The aim of yoga is to become still, to learn to reside in our truth. When we are surrendering to God, we are surrendering to the truth in us and the truth in all beings"

The first step to loving others is loving yourself. This is tied in with the first yama which is ahimsa or nonharming. It is easy to love your friends,but we must also learn to love ourselves in this same way. Since childhood, I was taught "Love your neighbor as your self." I thought I understood until a year ago when my friend explained that we are to love ourselves as we love our dearest friends. I am sure that you have a long record or internal dialog of every mistake you have made since birth. It is easy to become angry when you mess up...yet again. We can extend grace to our fellows, but won't allow ourselves to receive it. When you fail to love yourself, as God's finest creation, you are harming yourself and contributing to the worlds great suffering.

Love is a verb. Today, put in practice the love of self by doing something nice for you. There was a quote hanging in my first classroom which read, "When each person in the world takes better care of themselves, every person will feel better taken care of, and then we may finally begin to take better care of one another." It starts with you! Be patient, kind, forgiving and hopeful that today is the day when you realize that you are perfect and whole...a work in progress, formed in the very likeness of God. This is the truth of who you are. You are a reflection of God, and "God is Love." (1John4:8)